In Part 1, I outlined how people can train their unconscious minds to disregard their intentions, or even undermine them.
In this post, I'll outline how you can re-train your unconscious mind to work with you- to support your intentions, and your goals.
This will increase your ability to manifest your intentions... in other words, it'll make goals come easier, and things will get done easier. After doing the exercises I outline (trust me, they are very easy), it'll reduce barriers inside you that may be holding you back... it becomes much easier to get things done, and also makes it seem like there's a lot more time in life for doing things.
It'll also have the net result of increased rapport with your own unconscious. And build up intrinsic self-esteem, the self-worth that is completely independent of what goes on in the external world.
The way you strengthen this quality, your "will", is very simple. Here's the starting point:
1. Do what you say, and say what you do.
2. Do things for yourself just as you would do for someone you love and truely care for.
"Do what you say, and say what you do"
This covers being honest - and direct - to others. And just as importantly - yourself !
It doesn't mean you make your life an open book for everyone, or let people walk all over you, and yes, sometimes being direct means opening yourself up to critisism, but you want your inner mind to learn that your words mean something (you can be diplomatic, though - it's very possible to be completely honest, and also diplomatic).
It's also about keeping committments to yourself and others. Notice the word "yourself"... many of us find it easier to keep committments to others, and neglect to do the same for one's own self.
The guidelines:
1. Start off small. Pick things you have to do anyway.
2. Be persistent. Always do a few of these every day.
3. Progression and creativity: Gradually create and do exercises that have increasingly more impact in your life, build up to actions that make a difference to you and others around you.
The exercises - you'll have to create them for your own life. It's easiest to show by example.
Exercise #1:
Statement: "I'm getting up at 5:30am with the alarm, first thing is shower, make bed, get everything ready I need to take to work. Then have the morning coffee."
Change from "Normal Behaviour": Well, I'm already going to get up at 5:30am. So it's no extra effort - but I'm practicing making statements, and carrying through with them. Normally I'd wander around in a daze until after the morning coffee. Or I might hit snooze on the alarm clock. Sometimes I'd have things ready the night before - but with this statement, I'd hold off and do it in the morning... in the order I stated.
Effects: The whole thing presupposes an "order". So there is the additional (long term) side effect of squeezing out procrastination, and building up an organized lifestyle. By shifting around the order of what I'm doing, stating it first and then carrying it out - I'm establishing a new pattern... training my unconscious mind that what I say I'm going to do is going to happen.
Comments: And the whole thing is "no extra effort". All I've done is made a statement of what I'm going to do, and carried it out exactly as stated. I had to do all of the above anyway - but now I'm putting it to words first, then actions. That's the key to establishing a new pattern. The next day, I may say the exact same thing. Or not - but regardless, I will follow through with my stated actions, exactly as stated.
Exercise #2:
Statement: "I will have my stuff ready for work the night before. Tommorrow morning I'll be up at 5:40am, shower before anything else is done. I'll have my coffee on the way to work, not before. I'll be out of the apartment at 6:05am, no sooner and no later."
Effects, Comments: As exercise #1, but the shift is to prevent this from being a singular new pattern formed (the above exercise) to the pattern being following through the words, so if the words change patterns change as well. It's very important to "mix things up" occasionally this way. Note the statement "out of the apartment at 6:05am, no sooner and no later.". So if you're ready to go at 6:00am... wait till 6:05am !!
Exercise #3:
Statement: Pick something you usually indulge in, and then pick a small period where you will deny it for yourself. For a smoker, this could be cigarettes. For a coffee drinker, coffee. "Between 9am and 11am, I will not have coffee. Anytime after 11am, I will have my coffee".
Effect: You are training your unconscious to follow your stated intentions... but you are also leaving room for ambiguity. "Anytime after 11am" does not mean you'll have your vice at 11am, just that it will be at that time or later.
Comment: It is very important to "not script your life". Life is improvised, there has to be space for random events, or taking advantages of opportunities. The above "Statement of words" establishes the pattern of your words meaning something, it commits you to "not have your <vice>" during that timeframe, you can indulge as opportunity presents after.
Exercise #4:
Statement: "This morning, I'll drive to work without making any side trips.". The next day - "I will drive home from work without making side trips". On some other day - "I will drive home from work, and stop at <whatever store> for <whatever item I need at home>.". Then follow through.
Effect: Three different examples, really. The first one ("without making any side trips") trains up a pattern of directness. Ie, no distractions, no getting sidetracked. The second one is much the same - but there's usually more temptation in the drive home, since we usually aren't as scheduled... so there's more "weight" to that exercise. Here's the catch : If something comes up during the day - no matter how important - you MUST carry through. Even if the moment after you get home, you have to go out again ! In the final statement, where you state you'll make that ONE stop, you are training your mind to REMEMBER stops along any journey or goal that are necessary for that journey or goal... provided you outlined them ahead of time !
The above exercises are good "samples", outlining the various scenarios - I will give more advanced exercises later in a follow-up to this article. Creating exercises similiar to the above that apply to your life (more than just four - the four given were just to illustrate that it's easy to do, and the different types), and following through with them, will gradually strengthen your ability to "make things happen". You may even get comments from others on your "self-discipline" or "strength of will". Effects will ripple out to other areas of your life - but for now, just do the above.
There is one VERY IMPORTANT POINT : Shifting Priorities. Sooner or later, there will be times that something happens where you have to "break your word". Keep these times to zero. Because then you are training "exceptions", which defeats the whole point of the above. Whatever causes you to "break your word" will become part of the pattern, so choose consciously "Is this an exception that is permissible?". Then next time work that into your statements. ("I will go straight home from work once I finish work for the day. The only exception is if my child calls and needs a ride home.").
"Do things for yourself just as you would do for someone you love and truely care for"
It feels nice to look after someone we love, be it by giving them time, or helping them out with something. We feel we've added to the person's life, and feel happier ourselves for it. But how often to we take the time, or make the effort, to do something for one's own self that is an act of love ? Not materialistic - but something of value.
Buying someone something nice is an act of materialism. That's ok, but for our purposes, we need to switch to "valuable yet not materialistic". What we want to do has more to deal with "effort".
Exercise:
Look around the house for simple little things you can do NOW that will make your life easier LATER. For example - sorting out the mail/bills/budget so you don't have to worry about it later. Pick one. Just one.
Statement: Then say "I'm going to do this <pick date and time to start, perhaps number of hours you'll spend on it - whatever fits best>. I'm doing this because it will make my life easier later, one less thing to have to do in the future, because I'm worth the effort.". The carry through with it. For this sort of exercise, it is VERY important to do it !!!
Effect: Besides it actually making your life easier, and strengthening the "will", it will start building up (or rebuilding, or strengthening) intrinsic self-esteem, self-worth. This will ripple out to many areas of your life over time. And make it easy to spot someone trying to take advantage of you, and resist their manipulations (it won't make you immune - but it will defeat manipulation attempts that are based on selling you something "for you to feel worthwhile"... you'll have a sense of self-worth, and be able to see through these attempts).
Troubleshooting, and Additional Tips
I'm throwing this in as an afterthought.
1. "I've made my statements, but have problems carrying through with them."
Solution: Go smaller. If you're a smoker, and say you're going to quit - that HUGE. Pick really small things, and work up to the big things. That's good common sense. Yes - it is possible to build up the will to the point where you can say "No more smoking. I can go without, and any side effects will not bother me at all, I can ignore them". But that'll take time. Start off small with the things you need to do anyway, then add more gradually.
2. "Is it possible for this to backfire ?"
Unfortunately, yes... that's how the will gets broken down in the first place. Saying things, and not carrying through. In the second exercise, this is particularly dangerous since it sends a message to your unconscious that you "aren't worth it". So it's really good to start small. Build up over time. If you stumble, go back to things a bit easier, and continue to work upwards.
3. MAKE LISTS !
Often, when we forget things - this is self-sabotage. It's an expression of the pattern we "accidentally" installed. So, for some of these exercises - make up a list. Then go through them and check them off as you do it. This will prevent the previously installed pattern, the one of "not following through with the will", from manifesting through "bad memory". Eventually, you will not need lists anymore. (And you can add "I will follow through this list" to your statements as well, use the pattern to strengthen the new pattern of "strong will").
4. Leave space for "random events" and "opportunities".
Remember life is improvised, not scripted. You don't want to make a list of everything you will be doing for the day, and then make up exercises for them, you just want a few things each day. It's the "meaningful events" you want to set the patterns for. Conversely - you may want to say "I will go out to the bookstore - and look for an opportunity to change someone's bad day to a good day". This is "leaving a space for something eventful to happen, if opporunity permits". This is a more advanced exercise that really warrents it's own article. The real point I'm making is to leave space to enjoy randomness in life. Don't box yourself into a static life.
5. Keep a Journal
This isn't really necessary - but it is a nice to have to look back on later. It's a re-affirmation that you did it, that you can do it. And if you falter someday and need to start again - it's proof that when you put your mind to it, you can and will do it.
The most important thing : Be persistant. Keep at it.
Hope these exercises will lead folks to a better future, one where they can dream up good things - and then make them come true !
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